Mercy for the Merciful

“Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy” – Matthew 5:7. In this episode, Michael Horton, Walter Strickland, Justin Holcomb, and Bob Hiller discuss what it means to be a people who model God in their character, acting as those who are slow to anger, quick to forgive, and who are eager to give mercy.

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ON THIS EPISODE:

• Michael Horton is White Horse Inn’s founder and co-host. In addition to serving as a J. Gresham Machen Professor of Systematic Theology and Apologetics at Westminster Seminary California, he is a minister in the United Reformed Churches. He is the author of more than 30 books.
• Justin Holcomb is a Senior Fellow with Sola Media’s Theo Global. He is also the bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of Central Florida, where he has served as the canon for vocations since 2013. He teaches theology and apologetics at Reformed Theological Seminary and Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary.
• Bob Hiller is the Senior Pastor of Community Lutheran Church in Escondido, California. He is also the author of Finding Christ in the Straw.
• Walter Strickland is Assistant Professor of Systematic and Contextual Theology at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary. He has contributed to, edited, and authored multiple books in his areas of research interest, which include the African American theological tradition, education theory, and theology of work.

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Transcript

What Does “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy” Mean?

Justin Holcomb:

We are still in our series of the Beatitudes, and in this episode we will discuss Matthew 5:7, “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.” This is all about an eagerness not to condemn others and quickly forgive others. The merciful are those who understand their own need for God’s mercy. This makes me think of Psalm 51:1, “Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love, according to your great compassion, blot out my transgressions.” In addition to this, the Bible also defines mercy beyond forgiveness and withholding punishment. In Matthew 17:15, a man approaches Jesus and kneels before him, saying, “Lord, have mercy on my son. He has seizures and is suffering greatly. He often falls into the fire or into the water.” And Jesus’ response is to heal the man’s son, which is a response of mercy. Jesus’s compassion prompts him to act, and he mercifully loves, heals, and restores. So blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy. And we’re going to explore what mercy is, God’s mercy in scripture, and what does that mean for us? And the usual gentlemen are here: Walter Strickland, Bob Hiller, and Michael Horton. Gentlemen, let’s discuss how God is merciful, how he’s slow to anger and loves to give His people mercy.

Bob Hiller:

Before we go there, can I ask a question about the text? I feel like there’s a transition that’s taken place in the Beatitudes at this point. The first few Beatitudes seem to be saying blessed are people who are lacking something. So poor in spirit, mourning, meek, hungering, and thirsting for righteousness.

It seems that Jesus has made a transition to say, blessed are people who are active with something. So people who are merciful, people who are pure in heart, people who are pursuing peace, the peacemakers, and those who are persecuted for righteousness sake, those who are persecuted for confessing Jesus. So it seems as though now those who are lacking are also those who conduct themselves in a particular way within the world. Is this now Jesus going from grace to works righteousness, or what’s kind of going on here?

Michael Horton:

Well, one of the things that really helped me years ago, was the retired New Testament professor at the seminary where I teach, Steve Baugh, he really laid out so clearly that these beatitudes are indicatives. They’re not, “If you do this, then X will follow.” The king is pronouncing a benediction on his people in preparation for their going to the slaughter. So, he says, “whatever you’re about to face from the world, know what favor you have from the Father. He has declared you to be this people.” And so, when you start from that vantage point, it makes a great deal of difference. Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy. Who are the merciful? His people.

Bob Hiller:

Right, the poor in spirit, those who are mourning, those who are meek, so they’ve already received this mercy. It’s not like Jesus is saying, “Okay, over here on this side, we’ve got the poor people and the mourning people and the meek people. That’s three categories of people. And now we’re going to bring new categories of people.” This is a description.

Justin Holcomb:

The varsity people. That’s right. Not the first four who were JV. Now we have varsity: the merciful and the pure in heart and the peacemakers.

Bob Hiller:

Yeah, yeah. No, this is Jesus saying, “Hey, you, my disciples, this is all you are, indicators, indicatives of who you are.”

Justin Holcomb:

And the point that you’re bringing up by the question, which, that’s just like one of those things, if you read them all together, it does feel like there’s a shift taking place. And what’s so helpful is that. But in front of all of these is the blessed. This is not an “if, then”; it is a pronouncement. “Blessed are.” There isn’t an “if, then” in there. And so, that’s what’s helping the listeners.

Michael Horton:

You are the persecuted, but you’re also the happy. Objectively, you are favored. You’re in, you belong, you’re in the family, even though it looks like the opposite. Calvin summarized these beatitudes this way. He says they’re paradoxes that contradict the judgment of men.

Bob Hiller:

That’s great.

We Will Receive Mercy

Walter Strickland:

So it almost seems like it would almost read more naturally the way that we talk now. Blessed are those who are merciful, for they have received mercy. Like as we’ve received mercy, then we can.

Michael Horton:

No, they will. I mean, eschatologically, they will receive mercy. “In my kingdom, they will receive mercy.” Not now. I think that he’s stressing that “the outcome of your faith, the outcome of enduring this, surviving this, confident in me and my purposes, the outcome of your faith is going to be victory. But right now, you’re those who are meek.” That’s not necessarily a good thing in the Roman Empire. You are the weak, you’re the poor. You’re the poor in spirit. You’re the downtrodden. You’re those who find no mercy anywhere in the world. But here’s who you are in my kingdom.

Walter Strickland:

Yeah. That eschatological reading is helpful because even as we look through, “blessed are those who are poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of God. But blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted, meek.” They shall inherit, or will inherit the earth.

Michael Horton:

Already and not yet.

Walter Strickland:

Exactly.

We Are Merciful Because of God’s Promises

Justin Holcomb:

And it’s also important to see these shalls, because the must becomes a shall in the Bible. The law, the must, you must do this, you must do this, you must do this, gets turned into a shall after the promise of God. And so the very must, this is how Micah in Zechariah 7, 8 and 9, you have the law being proclaimed, “you must do this.” And then God makes a promise. “I’m going to be faithful to you even though you’re not worthy of it and don’t deserve this.” And then all of a sudden it says, “you shall be this.” And so God transforms. And we do. We obey. This is going to sanctification. We obey. And we actually do obey the law, not fully, not meritoriously, but the must becomes a shall, and that’s huge.

Michael Horton:

If you tell me, you know, you need to be more merciful. Okay, there’s a place for this. It’s called the third use of the law. Fine, tell me I need to be more merciful. But that’s not what is happening here. What’s happening here is we are defined if we belong to the people of God, we belong to the people who are merciful. That defines us. That’s who we are. Now, act mercifully out of that. But the point that’s being made here is that we belong to the people of God, who are a merciful people.

Bob Hiller:

And that’s the fruit of the mercy they have received. Luther says this. “The only pupils this verse finds are those who are already clinging to Christ and believe in him. They know of no holiness of their own. On the basis of the preceding items, they are poor, miserable, meek, really hungry and thirsty. And they are inclined not to despise anyone, but to assume and to sympathize with the need of everyone else.” I think maybe one of the helpful ways of conceiving of a merciful person. We are the community of the merciful because Jesus is merciful to us. And when you receive this gift, it’s almost absurd to think, “ah, now that I’ve received the mercy of Jesus, I can go out and be cruel and unkind to other people,” right? “I’ve received this radical grace from Christ. I can now live in a way that’s completely counter to the grace of Christ.” It doesn’t make any sense.

Michael Horton:

Yeah. In fact, here’s a parable from Luke 7, I think, that underscores this. “Jesus said, ‘a certain money lender had two debtors. One owed 500 denarii and the other 50. When they could not pay, he canceled the debt of both. Now, which of them will love him more?’ Simon answered, ‘the one I suppose for whom he canceled the larger debt.’ And he said to him, ‘you’ve judged rightly.’ Then, turning toward the woman, he said to Simon, ‘do you see this woman? I entered your house. You gave me no water for my feet. But she has wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You gave me no kiss, but from the time I came in, she has not ceased to kiss my feet. You did not anoint my head with oil, but she has anointed my feet with ointment. Therefore, I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven. For she loved much. But he who is forgiven little loves little.’ And he said to her, ‘your sins are forgiven.’”

Bob Hiller:

That “for she loved much” is a way of saying, you see her love as an indication of how much she’s been loved.

Michael Horton:

Otherwise, it totally destroys his point.

Bob Hiller:

Exactly. Exactly.

Walter Strickland:

Yeah, I love how the worship of God for what he’s done on our behalf then leads to transformation. So our desires are transformed. I mean, of course, we are dead, now we’re alive. But it does transform our desires and things like that. And then because of that, we just sort of, we have righteous activity as a fruit that’s born out of that righteousness. 

Michael Horton:

If we turn it around we become the Pharisees sitting at the table with him. They’re judging, “who is this, who lets this sinner pour out ointment on his feet?” And she’s preparing him for burial, you know. “Who is this person? He shouldn’t let this untouchable touch him. She’s a sinner.” And so Jesus is saying, “you think you’re righteous. You don’t think you have any sins to be forgiven of. So, okay, bye. You get what you want.”

Justin Holcomb:

The healthy have no need for a doctor.

Michael Horton:

That’s right. At the end of this, he says, “‘your sins are forgiven.’ Then those who were at table with him, the Pharisees, began to say among themselves,” imagine them just whispering this, “‘who is this who even forgives sins?’ And he said to the woman, ‘your faith has saved you. Go in peace.’” Not your love, but your faith.

Is God Unmerciful in the Old Testament?

Justin Holcomb:

So Bob said, Jesus is the fulfillment of this mercy, and we’re talking about these stories and parables from Jesus. So how does this fit with the kind of stereotypical images of God in the Old Testament? Of course, we’re talking about mercy in the New Testament stuff, but what about the Old Testament, where God’s giving law, not mercy? He’s all about wrath, not forgiveness. So that kind of Marcionite heresy of the angry Old Testament God. So how does this fit? Do we find mercy in the Old Testament? And if so, where?

Walter Strickland:

Well, I mean, even just thinking about the arc of scripture, it is important for us to remember the protection of the line of the Messiah is a grace from God. So even as we’re thinking about what happened in the Old Testament, which I don’t think that God is exclusively wrathful, there’s a lot of love there, forbearance, you know, so just as an initial foray into this discussion, if we think about what the Lord is doing in that way, protecting the line of the Messiah, I think that already sets us up on a trajectory towards being more open to the fact that there is several facets of God that are being seen in the Old Testament.

Michael Horton:

I have to say, if you think that the God of the Old Testament is wrathful and the God of the New Testament we see in Jesus Christ is merciful, if you just see it that way, can I say this? You haven’t read the Bible very carefully. That’s the basic thing, you need to go back and just read the Bible from Genesis to Revelation and you find a generous, kind, yes, just and righteous, but generous and kind in all that he puts up with. They break the covenant. He said, “if you do this and you will live, fail to keep it and you will die.” And yet he puts up with so much covenant breaking until finally they are just covenant breakers, they’re cut off. But even then, he promises the new covenant. That’s the God who comes to us in Jesus Christ, the one of whom that new covenant spoke. And guess what? He talks about hell and the wrath to come more than any figure in the entire Bible.

Justin Holcomb:

So if you did a word plot of the Old and New Testaments, you would see a lot of mercy, compassion and patience and grace. And if you word plotted Jesus, he’d be like “wrath, hell, viper. Woe to you.” A passage that’s repeated throughout scriptures, Exodus 34:6, “the Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin.” That’s repeated throughout the Psalms, Psalm 103. It’s, you know, in Joel and Jonah, I mean, the prophets. This is a repeated refrain about God revealing who he is and what he’s like.

Bob Hiller:

And in Joel and Jonah, I believe they add to that “and relenting of disaster.” So that even when, as you were saying, Mike, even when the judgment has come, even when there has been the wrath for sin, God is still abounding in steadfast love and merciful and ready to forgive like he wants to do it.

Michael Horton:

And Jonah hates that.

Bob Hiller:

Yeah, that’s Jonah’s problem. “I knew it! I knew you would be merciful.”

Michael Horton:

“I knew because you’re like that. You’re gonna forgive these people who totally run over us. We do not like them.” You think of the nations today raging against each other and the hatred that various people have against each other. Jonah was like, “I knew you were going to forgive them. You are a forgiving God because that’s who you are.” And God said, “go and preach to them. I’m bringing them to repentance.” “No, don’t.” And as God works in Jonah’s heart, he comes to God’s side on this. He’s a changed person. You think of early Jonah is very much like these pharisees at the table with Jesus, right?

Bob Hiller:

Yep.

Michael Horton:

“Don’t forgive that woman. And who does he think he is, forgiving sins directly? Does think he’s God? Only God can forgive sins, and ‘go, your sins are forgiven.’” That’s what God was saying to the Ninevites, and Jonah knew that he would say that. It’s interesting. Jonah knew he would say that, you know, we’re less merciful than God is.

Walter Strickland:

Exactly.

Justin Holcomb:

Just to go back to your point real quick, Bob, just so listeners hear, this Joel 2:13 and Jonah 4:2. Absolutely, where they add on and relents from disaster. And so that’s just a wonderful point.

Bob Hiller:

When Adam and Eve sin the curse for violating the law, there is death. And how quickly do Adam and Eve die? 

Justin Holcomb:

In nakedness. I’m just going with your point that I think you’re making.

Bob Hiller:

That’s right. So what does God do? He covers the nakedness and he promises life. I mean, it’s after the fall that Eve actually receives the name “the mother of the living,” isn’t that right? And so this goes for a long time now, for us, there’s only about six chapters before he decides to flood the earth. But actually it’s generation upon generation upon generation, where God is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He doesn’t just wipe everything out and start over like that because he’s so, like, flying off the handle. People Sin. People take advantage of that patience time and time again, and the Lord is still merciful.

Justin Holcomb:

And these prophets knew God is like this because he was like this with them.

Bob Hiller:

That’s right.

Justin Holcomb:

Because they colluded with paganism, worshiped other gods. I mean, gods where you’d sacrifice a baby on the burning arms. I mean, like, not just kind of like a little genuflect or a head nod to the idol. We’re talking about, like, some costly sacrifice. And what did God do but patiently make promises to woo them back? Like, “you keep on making your hearts flint hard.” I’m thinking of Zechariah 7, 8, 9. “You keep on making your hearts flint hard. You know what’ll get your attention? I’m gonna give you a promise. Maybe that’ll melt your heart.” And it finally works. And so his patience. And so they know, the recipients of all this grace. That’s why this parable of the unforgiving servant is just a summary of the prophets and Israel’s experience. And so, I mean, if that was what the church was most known for, and it should be. But just thinking how much this would change how we exist as christians, as a church, in our culture and the surrounding swirl of patterns of this world.

Walter Strickland:

I think of the book of Judges and that pattern that they have there. People turn from God. God judges by delivering them from their enemies. The people turn back to God. God sends a judge to rescue them, and then a period of peace goes, and we just do that over and over and over and over. I mean, so it’s funny, because I heard the cycle of the judges at first, I’m like, “okay, there’s a cycle. This goes on one big time in the whole book.” No, it’s every judge.

Bob Hiller:

Yeah, it’s like five times in the first, like three chapters.

Walter Strickland:

Yeah. Like, holy cow. I think now, I mean, of course, now I know that, yeah, there’s a God of mercy on full display in the Old Testament. But now, as I’m doing my own chronological Bible reading, in particular this year, I’m seeing he’s at it again. Yep, he’s at it again.

The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant

Bob Hiller:

It’s probably worth reading the parable of the unforgiving servant. And just to kind of, Jesus is so good at this. “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him 10,000 talents. And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold with his wife and children in all that he had, and payment to be made. So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave the debt.” I mean, that’s a lot of money. And he just says, “all right, cancel the debt.”

Justin Holcomb:

Millions and millions and thousands and hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Bob Hiller:

“But when,” it’s a sad statement here, “that same servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him 100 denarii,” $6 for the beer he bought him last night. “And seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘pay what you owe.’ So his servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘have patience with me and I will pay you.’ And he refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘you wicked servant. I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant as I had mercy on you?’ And in anger, his master delivered him to the jailers until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly father will do to every one of you if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.” And this is the point I would read that on a Sunday morning and then say, ironically, this is the gospel of the Lord. If you read this parable, the absurdity of the servant being unwilling to forgive, we are talking millions upon millions of dollars in today’s with inflation, about millions and millions of dollars and a few bucks that the other guy owes him. And anybody who would hear that would be like, “Jesus, that is ridiculous.” I mean, nobody would react that way. And Jesus is saying, “until you do. I mean, you guys always do this. Your unwillingness to be merciful, your unwillingness to forgive.” I do think this is sort of directed at people in Israel who are unwilling to be gracious towards people who are coming to Christ, but it is directed to us as well. One of the hardest messages I preach at our church, at any church, is Jesus’ expectation that we would forgive. And people have such a hard time with it. But I think sometimes it’s because we do not grasp the level of mercy that we have received from Jesus for what we’ve done to him. And I think this parable is very convicting.

Michael Horton:

I think that all of the parables really, they’re much easier to understand if you realize who he’s targeting. He’s really targeting the Pharisees who are overhearing his parables. As he tells the parable, the parable comes true. It’s coming true as he tells it. Think of, just for example, the publican and the Pharisee. “Well, I thank God that I’m so righteous. I tithe, I so forth.” And the publican can’t even raise his eyes to heaven, says, “Lord, be merciful to me, a sinner.” There again, the contrast between “I don’t need mercy, I’m righteous,” versus the person who says,
“I need mercy.” Then you have the prodigal son. So who’s the elder brother in the parable? The Pharisees. They resent the father’s mercy towards the younger brother, who has squandered his entire trust fund on wine, women and song. Now he dares to come back. Okay, he comes back as a slave, but his dad won’t let him. He goes running. “You’ve never shown me that kind of love. He’s just coming, he’s coming home. I’ve been here the whole time doing your dirty work. I’ve been obedient. I’ve done all the righteousness, everything you told me to do. I never got a fatted calf. I never got a ring. I never got a robe.” All of these parables are saying the same thing. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.

Justin Holcomb:

On that forgiveness point, Bob, my wife and I do plenty of ministry with those who have been abused, and many of the christian folks who have been abused, you know, regularly will say, “hey, I know I’m supposed to forgive.” And that’s usually quick on their mouth because the entire Christendom has said, “make sure you forgive, make sure you forgive.” And we kind of berate people with that and say, hold on a second. Yes, but let’s get to this. And usually the most helpful thing is to say, “let’s count the cost of the harm done. Let’s acknowledge the harm that’s been done to you. And separate from that, let’s also explore how the mercy you’ve received, we’ve all committed cosmic treason. And so only out of the experience of God’s forgiveness for you can you ever turn to someone who’s harmed you in any way and give forgiveness.” And so there’s this understanding of mercy and forgiveness. If we have committed cosmic treason and we have been forgiven of cosmic treason against the creator of the universe, no matter what I have done, nothing else measures up. If it’s not cosmic treason and no matter the horror of what I’ve done, it’s not minimizing my sin against someone or someone’s sin against me, it’s not cosmic treason. And so once you have this sense of the wealth, the pile, the millions of dollars that you have been forgiven. And so as long as we’re talking about forgiveness in ways that are like that, as opposed to forgiveness as burden, yes, it’s a command. You know, forgive as you’ve been forgiven. It’s in Ephesians, Jesus is talking about it, but it’s the way it’s talked about is a celebration of God’s mercy to us as the fuel for our forgiveness to other people.

Michael Horton:

Can you talk about the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation?

Mercy, Forgiveness, and Reconciliation

Justin Holcomb:

Yeah, sure. Because what ends up happening is there’s usually, with regard to dealing with people who have harmed you, forgiveness, reconciliation, and restoration, you usually get all lumped together into one big category, like they’re the same words for the same thing. And so what I have found is helpful in working with people is saying, “no, there’s really, you know, three different things.” There’s forgiveness, forgiveness and say, Bob sins against me. Whether Bob acknowledges the sin, my forgiving of Bob is between me and God. Whether Bob apologizes or not, I can say, “God, you know, I want to forgive him. Please work in me to forgive him. I forgive him.” Okay? That’s me and God. If Bob acknowledges and repents and apologizes, and I grant forgiveness to him, “yes, Bob, I forgive you,” then we’re reconciled as brothers in Christ. So my forgiving of Bob is one thing, that’s me and God. Bob and I reconciling is a second thing. It’s a different thing. We’re reconciled in Christ, and then restoration is restoring the relationship to what it once was. Well, if Bob hurt my feelings by saying something that either he intended to do it or didn’t or whatever, well, I think we could probably restore that relationship and be like, “you know what? Bob’s a good dude. I love him. He loves me. Here we are.” If Bob did something horrific that caused me to lose trust in him, it would be unwise to perhaps restore the relationship fully to what it once was. And so, for example, I mean, I’ll go to an extreme, have a grandparent who abuses a grandchild or a family member, and that grandparent can be forgiven if that grandparent apologizes, repents, acknowledges there can be reconciliation. But you might not grant that grandparent full access to the grandkids ever again, that grandparent forfeited the right to be trusted in a certain situation. And so what ends up happening is when people don’t restore the relationship, certain people would be, “oh, well, you didn’t really forgive, you didn’t really reconcile.” And so I think practically this can be very helpful, that there are some people with whom you’re not reconciled because they have not repented, but you can still forgive them. And proof of restoration is not proof of reconciliation or forgiveness.

Bob Hiller:

Interesting.

Walter Strickland:

That’s so helpful because I do think that people say, “well, forgiveness equals all three of those things,” which makes somebody vulnerable again.

Michael Horton:

Show mercy, show grace, even case after case of pastors who have, for example, taken advantage of their spiritual authority to harm people in the church, whether it is verbally or sexually or what have you, and you get the guys around the pastor defending him and, you know, “we’ll work this out.” And then telling the victim, “do you forgive them? Bible says forgive.” And the people in the church who say, “well, this person, according to the scriptures, is no longer qualified to be a minister. He’s forgiven by God, but he’s forfeited his right to have access to people pastorally.” “No, you’ve got to show grace. You’ve got to show mercy. The Bible says that you have to show mercy.”

Justin Holcomb:

I’ve seen church members put under the pastor, serial clergy, sexual misconduct, numerous people in the church and the good old boy club circles up. And when these survivors or victims of this pastor’s behavior don’t forgive quickly enough or on the terms, under the understanding that these elders have said, put them on church discipline and remove them from the church while they reinstate this pastor quickly. And so it’s possible, like, here’s the thing, and King David always gets used as the example. “Well, God forgave King David.” Yeah, that doesn’t become the pathway for pastors. Can you be forgiven? Absolutely. Just because we’re saying you should not be in the pulpit ever again or for a long time or any type of qualification, doesn’t mean you’re not merciful and not gracious. Honestly, if you’re abusive as a pastor, one of your temptations is misusing your influence. It’s actually gracious for you not to be in that position because you can’t handle it. You hurt yourself and you hurt other people.

Michael Horton:

And God made a promise to David and his sons that he did not make to pastors.

Justin Holcomb:

Yeah.

Michael Horton:

“No matter what you guys do, you’re going to be horrible. Your kids are going to be horrible. I know, I know the story. I know how this turns out. I will always have one of your descendants on the throne until the everlasting king sits on that throne for the everlasting kingdom, the son of David.” That is a unique, redemptive, historical promise to David that cannot be carried over to contemporary pastors.

Justin Holcomb:

And it does way too often.

Walter Strickland:

This business of forgiving and forgetting is not wise. You know, there is forgiveness. And I do again like the three step sort of process that is dependent on each step to move forward, it seems to me. And a point that I wanted to make as well, the reconciling, would you say it’s fair, Justin, that reconciliation would happen after several actions of repentance have been demonstrated?

Justin Holcomb:

It really all depends on what that, I mean, I can see in some, there’s godly repentance and worldly sorrow is one of the ways that Corinthians talks about the difference. So there’s godly repentance is going to be other-focused. “I’ve sinned against God and you.” It’s not going to be self protective. It’s going to be dealing with the reality of the harm that’s been done and acknowledgement. So again, going back to my example, I mean if it depends on what the infraction or harm is, it would be a matter of like I forgive you, Bob. Like I, you know, versus, you know, depending on, there would be a wisdom.

Walter Strickland:

More egregious things like, you know, sexual abuse and things like that.

Justin Holcomb:

Yeah, I think that’s what you’re getting to is what you don’t want to do is be like, you know, someone, if they’re doing godly repentance, there’s fruit of godly repentance. Worldly sorrow is pretty easy to see. So for example, when you have an abusive spouse and when, whenever you push back and say, “hey, there’s an allegation of this.” “How dare you, blah, blah, blah,” and then we’re going to start dealing with this and they end up making accusations about elders or authority or “how dare you restrict me.” One of my favorite ones was we tried to give someone in a different setting, who was a registered sex offender, an attendance covenant to the church, what that would look like. And this person said, “there’s only one covenant I’m under, and that’s the baptismal covenant.” And I was like, “well, no, that’s not how this is going to work.”

Bob Hiller:

Good.

Justin Holcomb:

“I thought you believed in grace.” “I do. One of the most gracious things I can do is not let you be tempted to sexually harm people, and to protect them.”

Bob Hiller:

That’s right.

Justin Holcomb:

And so when it comes to reconciliation. Yeah, that reconciliation is contingent on that person actually repenting and acknowledging and asking for forgiveness and part of repentance are the fruit of repentance. It would look like, if I sin against Bob, I steal something from him and I’m like, “Bob, I am really sorry for stealing $500 from you.” And he looks at me and is like, “oh, okay.” Well, one of the proofs that I might be sorry is that I would actually give him back the money. If I said, “I’m really sorry. That’s got to be really frustrating for you to not be able to pay your house payment because I stole money from you. I’m really sorry. Will you forgive me?”

Michael Horton:

The fruits keeping with repentance.

Walter Strickland:

I think if we said fruit, not actions, it’d probably speak more about what I was trying to get at.

Mercy and Forgiveness Takes Time

Bob Hiller:

The other thing you said something kind of in passing, Justin, but I do think it’s worth honing in on just a little bit. The first step of those three is between me and God, and you pray, “okay. Lord, help me to forgive them.” I think sometimes we guilt people too much because they don’t have that feeling of forgiveness. Or they’re like, “I’ve been trying to forgive them, but I can’t. I cannot let go of this. It’s too much.” The right thing to do there is to say, “Lord, I can’t forgive them. You need to do it first and get me to follow because I cannot go there myself. It’s too hard for me.” And to be honest with that towards God. He’s not going to be surprised by what you just said to him. He knows what’s going on in your heart. But to acknowledge that getting to that point of forgiveness isn’t just a matter of reading a Bible verse and being guilted into doing what it’s saying. Like, if you’ve been legitimately harmed, or just harmed at all, I don’t know if there’s legitimate or illegitimate harm, if you’ve been harmed, forgiveness is a hard place to get to. Even that point where before we ever even get to reconciliation, like just getting to the point where you’re saying “I can forgive them.” And that’s part of the sanctifying work of the spirit, to work that in you, but to fight for that, because it is worth fighting for getting to that point.

Walter Strickland:

And that fighting, as you’re saying, it takes time. And I think it’s significant for us to not just to have this on a whim, obedience, so the sun doesn’t go down on our anger, but to say, “okay, I’m going to take stock of exactly what was taken from me,” and then so we can actually forgive people in a more robust way than just sort of waving a wand and getting on with it when we’re really still wounded by it.

Michael Horton:

You know, to just David, “against you and you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight so that you’re just to condemn me.” He was crying out for mercy. He wasn’t pleading on the basis of the law. There was no provision in the law for mercy. He should have been stoned, not just removed from his position, he should have been stoned. But God made a promise, so God showed mercy on him. But notice his sin. I think we’ve made this point before. His sin was measured, its horror was measured by the fact that it was first and foremost against God. People in our society who talk about wrongs being done and violence and being victims and so forth, all they can appeal to is do no harm. The basic utilitarian ethic of the greatest good for the greatest number of people, a violation of law is basically doing something to someone else that is harmful. No, it’s measured by the fact that God’s law has been broken. God’s command has been broken. Now the corollary to that is you can’t forgive yourself. People talk about it all the time. It’s like, because they don’t have a God to forgive them, but you have to forgive yourself. Now, I’m not totally rejecting that whole notion. If God is forgiving you, you should forgive yourself. But you can’t forgive yourself unless you’re forgiven by the person who ultimately is righteous and you’ve offended. What you’ve done is not just harmful, is not just violent, is not just an infraction, but is actually flipping God off. You have to realize that. That’s first and foremost what is being done there. And the only person who can show you mercy is that God you’ve offended. Once he has shown you mercy, you are now in the camp. You have to be. It’s not then you’ll get in the camp. You are in the camp of the merciful. You don’t have a choice here. You have to treat people mercifully because he who is forgiven much loves much.

Justin Holcomb:

So again, Exodus 34:6, “the Lord, the Lord, a God, merciful and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love, in faithfulness, keeping steadfast love to the thousands.” The Lord has been and will be merciful to you and the proof of this is Jesus Christ, who tells us, “blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.” And while mercy and compassion are different, they are intertwined. Mercy is the fruit of compassion. Mercy is a gift given to someone who is suffering by someone acting with compassion. And God shows us mercy because of who he is, which is compassionate. And that’s why we have the prayer of humble access line, “you are the God whose property is always to have mercy,” or the historic collict “O God, you declare your almighty power chiefly in showing mercy and pity.” So we are always at God’s mercy, which is the safest place to be. And now that we have experienced mercy, it’s not alien, and we know how powerful it is to give it to others. But first, just rest in receiving the gift of God’s extravagant mercy for you because of the sake of Christ.

Michael Horton:

Amen.